{"id":6043,"date":"2022-07-28T16:11:47","date_gmt":"2022-07-28T09:11:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/douongvietnam.net\/?p=6043"},"modified":"2022-07-28T16:11:47","modified_gmt":"2022-07-28T09:11:47","slug":"nhung-phien-muon-ve-cuoc-doi-deu-bat-dau-tu-moi-quan-he-giua-nguoi-voi-nguoi","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/douongvietnam.net\/?p=6043","title":{"rendered":"Nh\u1eefng phi\u1ec1n mu\u1ed9n v\u1ec1 cu\u1ed9c \u0111\u1eddi \u0111\u1ec1u b\u1eaft \u0111\u1ea7u t\u1eeb m\u1ed1i quan h\u1ec7 gi\u1eefa ng\u01b0\u1eddi v\u1edbi ng\u01b0\u1eddi"},"content":{"rendered":"

Thi tho\u1ea3ng, t\u00f4i nh\u1eadn \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c nh\u1eefng l\u1eddi \u0111\u1ec1 ngh\u1ecb t\u01b0 v\u1ea5n ho\u1eb7c gi\u00fap \u0111\u1ee1 r\u1ea5t tr\u00e9o ngoe.<\/strong><\/p>\n

L\u00e2u l\u00e2u m\u1edf h\u1ed9p tin nh\u1eafn ch\u1edd ra, th\u1ea5y m\u1ed9t l\u00f4 m\u1ed9t l\u1ed1c nh\u1eefng tin nh\u1eafn n\u1eb1m trong \u0111\u00f3, kh\u00f4ng bi\u1ebft t\u1eeb bao gi\u1edd. C\u00f3 nh\u1eefng l\u1eddi m\u1eddi tham gia l\u00e0m gi\u00e1m kh\u1ea3o cu\u1ed9c n\u00e0y cu\u1ed9c kia, l\u00e0m di\u1ec5n gi\u1ea3, tr\u1ea3 l\u1eddi ph\u1ecfng v\u1ea5n \u0111\u00e0i ph\u00e1t thanh, \u0111\u00e0i truy\u1ec1n h\u00ecnh…; \u0111a ph\u1ea7n t\u00f4i t\u1eeb ch\u1ed1i h\u1ebft, \u0111\u01a1n gi\u1ea3n v\u00ec kh\u00f4ng c\u00f3 th\u1eddi gian v\u00e0 kh\u00f4ng ph\u00f9 h\u1ee3p, ch\u01b0a k\u1ec3 ng\u1ea1i l\u00ean h\u00ecnh, l\u00ean ti\u1ebfng.<\/strong><\/p>\n

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C\u00f3 nh\u1eefng inbox nh\u1edd l\u00ean list phim xem… tr\u01b0\u1edbc khi ng\u1ee7 cho ngon; nh\u1edd t\u00ecm m\u1ed9t c\u00e1i phim n\u00e0o \u0111\u00f3 m\u00e0 b\u1ea1n k\u1ec3 qua n\u1ed9i dung phim, t\u00f4i th\u1ec1 b\u1ecdn google v\u00e0 wikipedia c\u0169ng ch\u1ecbu ch\u1ebft.<\/p>\n

C\u00f3 b\u1ea1n nh\u1eafn tin b\u1ea3o, l\u1ea1i c\u00f3 \u0111\u1ee9a n\u00e0y \u0111\u1ee9a kia ch\u1eedi anh k\u00eca. T\u00f4i \u0111\u00e1p l\u1ea1i, k\u1ec7 (ch\u00fang) n\u00f3 em \u1ea1, \u0111\u1ebfn \u0111\u1ecdc anh c\u00f2n kh\u00f4ng \u0111\u1ecdc, th\u00ec n\u00f3i chi t\u1edbi chuy\u1ec7n tranh lu\u1eadn hay ti\u1ebfng qua ti\u1ebfng l\u1ea1i v\u1edbi b\u1ecdn n\u00f3. T\u00f4i ngh\u0129 m\u1ed9t trong nh\u1eefng ph\u1ea9m ch\u1ea5t gi\u00fap t\u00f4i lu\u00f4n th\u1ea5y tho\u1ea3i m\u00e1i v\u00e0 b\u00ecnh th\u1ea3n gi\u1eefa c\u00f5i m\u1ea1ng n\u00e0y, \u0111\u00f3 l\u00e0 kh\u1ea3 n\u0103ng “ignore” a.k.a “ph\u1edbt l\u1edd t\u1ea5t c\u1ea3, b\u01a1 \u0111i m\u00e0 s\u1ed1ng”.<\/p>\n

Nh\u01b0ng v\u1eeba r\u1ed3i, t\u00f4i c\u00f3 nh\u1eadn \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c l\u1eddi \u0111\u1ec1 ngh\u1ecb t\u01b0 v\u1ea5n c\u1ee7a m\u1ed9t ng\u01b0\u1eddi ph\u1ee5 n\u1eef, m\u00e0 d\u00f9 bi\u1ebft l\u00e0 “tr\u00e9o ngoe”, t\u00f4i c\u0169ng kh\u00f4ng th\u1ec3 ph\u1edbt l\u1edd \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c.<\/p>\n

Ai \u0111\u1eddi l\u1ea1i \u0111i nh\u1edd m\u1ed9t ng\u01b0\u1eddi ch\u01b0a l\u1eadp gia \u0111\u00ecnh, kh\u00f4ng c\u00f3 con c\u00e1i nh\u01b0 t\u00f4i \u0111i t\u01b0 v\u1ea5n chuy\u1ec7n… kh\u1ee7ng ho\u1ea3ng, m\u00e2u thu\u1eabn gi\u1eefa b\u1ed1 m\u1eb9 v\u00e0 con c\u00e1i?<\/p>\n

Nh\u1eadn di\u1ec7n kh\u1ee7ng ho\u1ea3ng t\u00e2m l\u00fd gi\u1eefa m\u1eb9 v\u00e0 con\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Ng\u01b0\u1eddi ph\u1ee5 n\u1eef \u1ea5y nh\u1eafn tin r\u1eb1ng, ch\u1ecb nghe h\u1ebft 7 t\u1eadp podcast c\u1ee7a t\u00f4i tr\u00ean Vietcetera, follow facebook \u0111\u00e3 l\u00e2u, ngh\u0129 t\u00f4i ch\u1eafc \u0111\u1ecdc r\u1ed9ng hi\u1ec3u nhi\u1ec1u, n\u00ean nh\u1edd t\u00f4i t\u01b0 v\u1ea5n m\u1ed9t cu\u1ed9c kh\u1ee7ng ho\u1ea3ng t\u00e2m l\u00fd n\u1eb7ng n\u1ec1 gi\u1eefa ch\u1ecb v\u00e0 \u0111\u1ee9a con trai m\u1edbi l\u1edbn c\u1ee7a ch\u1ecb.<\/p>\n

Ch\u1ecb vi\u1ebft: “L\u1ea7n \u0111\u1ea7u ti\u00ean trong \u0111\u1eddi em r\u01a1i v\u00e0o m\u1ed9t cu\u1ed9c kh\u1ee7ng ho\u1ea3ng n\u1eb7ng n\u1ec1 nh\u01b0 th\u1ebf n\u00e0y, v\u00e0 kh\u00f4ng bi\u1ebft ph\u1ea3i l\u00e0m g\u00ec c\u1ea3. Em m\u1ea5t ng\u1ee7 nhi\u1ec1u \u0111\u00eam, c\u0103ng th\u1eb3ng \u0111\u1ebfn b\u1ea1c t\u00f3c, t\u00ecm m\u1ecdi c\u00e1ch \u0111\u1ec3 h\u00f2a gi\u1ea3i v\u1edbi con. Nh\u01b0ng em c\u00e0ng t\u00ecm c\u00e1ch \u0111\u1ec3 h\u00f2a gi\u1ea3i v\u1edbi n\u00f3 th\u00ec n\u00f3 c\u00e0ng l\u00e1nh xa em, th\u1eadm ch\u00ed \u0111\u00f4i khi c\u00f2n bi\u1ec3u l\u1ed9 s\u1ef1 th\u00f9 ngh\u1ecbch khi\u1ebfn em r\u1ea5t \u0111au l\u00f2ng.<\/p>\n

H\u1ed3i b\u00e9 n\u00f3 r\u1ea5t ngoan v\u00e0 y\u00eau m\u1eb9, nh\u01b0ng t\u1eeb h\u1ed3i n\u00f3 l\u00ean c\u1ea5p ba, em c\u00f3 m\u1ed9t l\u1ea7n can thi\u1ec7p chuy\u1ec7n y\u00eau \u0111\u01b0\u01a1ng v\u00e0 \u0111\u1ecdc tr\u1ed9m nh\u1eadt k\u00fd c\u1ee7a n\u00f3, t\u1eeb \u0111\u00f3, n\u00f3 l\u1ea1nh l\u00f9ng v\u1edbi em ra m\u1eb7t. \u00c1nh m\u1eaft c\u1ee7a n\u00f3 \u0111\u00f4i khi c\u00f2n l\u00e0m em s\u1ee3 h\u00e3i.<\/p>\n

Em kh\u00f4ng bi\u1ebft ph\u1ea3i l\u00e0m g\u00ec c\u1ea3 \u0111\u1ec3 gi\u1ea3i quy\u1ebft chuy\u1ec7n n\u00e0y. C\u1ee9 m\u1ed7i l\u1ea7n ngh\u0129 \u0111\u1ebfn chuy\u1ec7n n\u00f3i chuy\u1ec7n n\u00f3 l\u00e0 ch\u00e2n tay em run l\u00ean. Em ngh\u0129 ch\u1eafc em b\u1ecb tr\u1ea7m c\u1ea3m r\u1ed3i”.<\/p>\n

Ch\u1ecb kh\u00f4ng nh\u1eafc g\u00ec \u0111\u1ebfn ch\u1ed3ng c\u1ea3, n\u00ean t\u00f4i ngh\u0129 c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 ch\u1ecb l\u00e0m m\u1eb9 \u0111\u01a1n th\u00e2n.<\/p>\n

Qu\u1ea3 th\u1ef1c, t\u00f4i kh\u00f4ng c\u00f3 kinh nghi\u1ec7m g\u00ec v\u1ec1 chuy\u1ec7n n\u00e0y c\u1ea3, n\u1ebfu x\u00e9t v\u1ec1 m\u1eb7t tr\u1ea3i nghi\u1ec7m. Nh\u01b0ng t\u00f4i c\u0169ng \u0111\u00e3 t\u1eebng ch\u1ee9ng ki\u1ebfn v\u00e0i chuy\u1ec7n \u0111au l\u00f2ng, t\u1eebng xem v\u00e0 \u0111\u1ecdc nhi\u1ec1u b\u1ed9 phim, cu\u1ed1n s\u00e1ch v\u1ec1 nh\u1eefng cu\u1ed9c kh\u1ee7ng ho\u1ea3ng t\u01b0\u01a1ng t\u1ef1, gi\u1eefa nh\u1eefng ng\u01b0\u1eddi th\u00e2n ru\u1ed9t th\u1ecbt trong gia \u0111\u00ecnh, \u0111\u1eb7c bi\u1ec7t l\u00e0 t\u00ecnh ph\u1ee5 t\u1eed, t\u00ecnh m\u1eabu t\u1eed.<\/p>\n

\u0110\u00f4i khi, ch\u1ec9 v\u00ec kh\u00f4ng th\u1ea5u hi\u1ec3u nhau, v\u00ec d\u00f9ng “quy\u1ec1n” c\u1ee7a ng\u01b0\u1eddi l\u1edbn, d\u00f9ng c\u00e1i “\u01a1n sinh th\u00e0nh” \u0111\u1ec3 \u00e1p \u0111\u1eb7t, th\u1eadm ch\u00ed c\u01b0\u1ee1ng \u0111o\u1ea1t t\u00ecnh c\u1ea3m, t\u00e2m l\u00fd c\u1ee7a nh\u1eefng \u0111\u1ee9a con m\u00e0 khi\u1ebfn ch\u00fang tr\u1edf n\u00ean xa l\u00e1nh, th\u1eadm ch\u00ed th\u00f9 ngh\u1ecbch ch\u00ednh nh\u1eefng ng\u01b0\u1eddi sinh th\u00e0nh ra ch\u00fang.<\/p>\n

\u1ede \u0111\u1eddi, \u0111\u00f3 c\u00f3 l\u1ebd l\u00e0 th\u1ee9 khi\u1ebfn ta \u0111au l\u00f2ng nh\u1ea5t, ph\u1ea3i kh\u00f4ng?<\/em><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

T\u00f4i t\u01b0 v\u1ea5n cho ch\u1ecb xem ba b\u1ed9 phim (We Need to Talk About Kevin c\u1ee7a n\u1eef \u0111\u1ea1o di\u1ec5n Lynne Ramsay v\u00e0 I Killed My Mother, Mommy c\u1ee7a Xavier Dolan). V\u00e0 n\u00f3i kh\u00e1 k\u1ef9 r\u1eb1ng, \u0111\u00e2y l\u00e0 ba b\u1ed9 phim r\u1ea5t c\u1ef1c \u0111oan, c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 g\u00e2y ra nh\u1eefng c\u00fa s\u1ed1c v\u1ec1 m\u1eb7t c\u1ea3m x\u00fac.<\/p>\n

Nh\u01b0ng v\u1edbi tr\u01b0\u1eddng h\u1ee3p c\u1ee7a ch\u1ecb b\u00e2y gi\u1edd, c\u1ea7n nh\u1ea5t l\u00e0 s\u1ef1 d\u0169ng c\u1ea3m \u0111\u1ec3 \u0111\u1ed1i di\u1ec7n s\u1ef1 th\u1eadt v\u00e0 c\u00f3 t\u00e2m l\u00fd v\u1eefng m\u1ea1nh. H\u01a1n n\u1eefa, phim \u1ea3nh bi\u1ec3u \u0111\u1ea1t nh\u1eefng c\u00e1i nh\u00ecn v\u1eeba mang t\u00ednh ri\u00eang t\u01b0 ch\u1ee7 quan v\u1eeba c\u00f3 t\u00ednh kh\u00e1i qu\u00e1t h\u00f3a c\u1ee7a \u0111\u1ea1o di\u1ec5n, n\u00ean xem \u0111\u1ec3 tham kh\u1ea3o th\u00f4i, \u0111\u1eebng b\u1ecb n\u00f3 \u00e1m \u1ea3nh qu\u00e1.<\/p>\n

N\u1ebfu ba b\u1ed9 phim n\u00f3i tr\u00ean l\u00e0 m\u1ed9t th\u1ee9 thu\u1ed1c “\u0111\u1eafng” th\u00ec cu\u1ed1n s\u00e1ch D\u00e1m B\u1ecb Gh\u00e9t – m\u1ed9t d\u1ea1ng s\u00e1ch tri\u1ebft h\u1ecdc, t\u00e2m l\u00fd ph\u1ed5 th\u00f4ng t\u1eebng l\u00e0 hi\u1ec7n t\u01b0\u1ee3ng xu\u1ea5t b\u1ea3n \u1edf Nh\u1eadt B\u1ea3n, v\u1edbi h\u01a1n 3 tri\u1ec7u b\u1ea3n \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c b\u00e1n ra – l\u1ea1i l\u00e0 m\u1ed9t cu\u1ed1n s\u00e1ch \u0111\u1ec3 th\u1ea5u hi\u1ec3u, r\u1ed3i sau \u0111\u00f3 m\u1edbi t\u00ecm c\u00e1ch ch\u1eefa l\u00e0nh.<\/p>\n

Thi\u1ec1n s\u01b0 Th\u00edch Nh\u1ea5t H\u1ea1nh \u0111\u00e3 t\u1eebng n\u00f3i, “hi\u1ec3u r\u1ed3i m\u1edbi th\u01b0\u01a1ng” \u0111\u00f3 sao?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Cu\u1ed1n s\u00e1ch n\u00f3i tr\u00ean c\u1ee7a hai t\u00e1c gi\u1ea3: Kishimi Ichiro, m\u1ed9t nh\u00e0 tri\u1ebft h\u1ecdc chuy\u00ean nghi\u00ean c\u1ee9u v\u1ec1 tri\u1ebft h\u1ecdc v\u00e0 t\u00e2m l\u00fd h\u1ecdc Adler v\u00e0 Koga Fumitake, ng\u01b0\u1eddi vi\u1ebft t\u1ef1 do, v\u1edbi s\u1edf tr\u01b0\u1eddng l\u00e0 nh\u1eefng cu\u1ed1n s\u00e1ch v\u1ec1 \u0111\u1ed1i tho\u1ea1i v\u00e0 v\u1ea5n \u0111\u00e1p.<\/p>\n

D\u1ef1a tr\u00ean nh\u1eefng cu\u1ed9c \u0111\u1ed1i tho\u1ea1i v\u1edbi Kishimi Ichiro, anh \u0111\u00e3 v\u1eadn d\u1ee5ng th\u1ec3 lo\u1ea1i \u0111\u1ed1i tho\u1ea1i trong tri\u1ebft h\u1ecdc Hy L\u1ea1p c\u1ed5 \u0111i\u1ec3n \u0111\u1ec3 vi\u1ebft n\u00ean cu\u1ed1n s\u00e1ch n\u00e0y.<\/p>\n

Cu\u1ed1n s\u00e1ch c\u00f3 t\u00ednh khai s\u00e1ng n\u00e0y \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c th\u1ec3 hi\u1ec7n xuy\u00ean su\u1ed1t v\u1edbi nh\u1eefng cu\u1ed9c \u0111\u1ed1i tho\u1ea1i gi\u1eefa m\u1ed9t nh\u00e0 tri\u1ebft h\u1ecdc v\u00e0 ch\u00e0ng thanh ni\u00ean qua nh\u1eefng cu\u1ed9c ph\u1ea3n bi\u1ec7n, tranh c\u00e3i g\u1eaft gao gi\u1eefa h\u1ecd.<\/p>\n

Nh\u1eefng quan \u0111i\u1ec3m t\u1eebng g\u00e2y tranh c\u00e3i trong t\u01b0 t\u01b0\u1edfng c\u1ee7a nh\u00e0 t\u00e2m l\u00fd h\u1ecdc Alfred Adler, ng\u01b0\u1eddi \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c m\u1ec7nh danh l\u00e0 m\u1ed9t trong ba ng\u01b0\u1eddi kh\u1ed5ng l\u1ed3 c\u1ee7a t\u00e2m l\u00fd h\u1ecdc hi\u1ec7n \u0111\u1ea1i, s\u00e1nh ngang v\u1edbi hai t\u00ean tu\u1ed5i kh\u00e1c l\u00e0 Freud v\u00e0 Carl Jung – \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c m\u1ed5 x\u1ebb m\u1ed9t c\u00e1ch quy\u1ebft li\u1ec7t \u0111\u1ec3 \u0111i t\u00ecm ch\u00e2n l\u00fd, gi\u1ea3i tho\u00e1t cho nh\u1eefng n\u1ed7i th\u1ed1ng kh\u1ed5 c\u1ee7a con ng\u01b0\u1eddi.<\/p>\n

Nhi\u1ec1u t\u01b0 t\u01b0\u1edfng c\u1ee7a Adler ph\u1ea3n b\u00e1c l\u1ea1i t\u01b0 t\u01b0\u1edfng c\u1ee7a Freud. V\u00ed d\u1ee5 nh\u01b0 Freud cho r\u1eb1ng qu\u00e1 kh\u1ee9 v\u00e0 ho\u00e0n c\u1ea3nh l\u00e0 \u0111\u1ed9ng l\u1ef1c l\u00e0m n\u00ean con ng\u01b0\u1eddi ta c\u1ee7a hi\u1ec7n t\u1ea1i, Adler ch\u1ee7 tr\u01b0\u01a1ng \u201ccu\u1ed9c \u0111\u1eddi ta l\u00e0 do ta l\u1ef1a ch\u1ecdn\u201d. V\u00ec v\u1eady m\u00e0 t\u00e2m l\u00fd h\u1ecdc c\u1ee7a Adler \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c g\u1ecdi l\u00e0 \u201cT\u00e2m l\u00fd h\u1ecdc c\u1ee7a l\u00f2ng can \u0111\u1ea3m\u201d.<\/p>\n

Nh\u01b0 nh\u00e0 tri\u1ebft h\u1ecdc trong cu\u1ed1n s\u00e1ch nh\u1eadn x\u00e9t r\u1eb1ng: “T\u00e2m l\u00fd h\u1ecdc Adler kh\u00f4ng ph\u1ea3i l\u00e0 t\u00e2m l\u00fd h\u1ecdc \u0111\u1ec3 thay \u0111\u1ed5i ng\u01b0\u1eddi kh\u00e1c m\u00e0 l\u00e0 t\u00e2m l\u00fd h\u1ecdc \u0111\u1ec3 thay \u0111\u1ed5i b\u1ea3n th\u00e2n”.<\/p>\n

T\u00e2m l\u00fd h\u1ecdc Adler c\u00f3 nhi\u1ec1u ph\u1ea7n \u0111i ng\u01b0\u1ee3c v\u1edbi l\u1ebd th\u01b0\u1eddng l\u00e0: ph\u1ee7 nh\u1eadn thuy\u1ebft nguy\u00ean nh\u00e2n, ph\u1ee7 nh\u1eadn sang ch\u1ea5n t\u00e2m l\u00fd, \u00e1p d\u1ee5ng thuy\u1ebft m\u1ee5c \u0111\u00edch, cho r\u1eb1ng m\u1ecdi phi\u1ec1n mu\u1ed9n c\u1ee7a con ng\u01b0\u1eddi \u0111\u1ec1u b\u1eaft ngu\u1ed3n t\u1eeb m\u1ed1i quan h\u1ec7 gi\u1eefa ng\u01b0\u1eddi v\u1edbi ng\u01b0\u1eddi. Ngo\u00e0i ra c\u1ea3 vi\u1ec7c kh\u00f4ng mong mu\u1ed1n \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c th\u1eeba nh\u1eadn l\u1eabn ph\u00e2n chia nhi\u1ec7m v\u1ee5 \u0111\u1ec1u \u0111i ng\u01b0\u1ee3c v\u1edbi l\u1ebd th\u01b0\u1eddng…<\/p>\n

Nh\u00e2n tr\u01b0\u1eddng h\u1ee3p c\u1ee7a ng\u01b0\u1eddi ph\u1ee5 n\u1eef nh\u1edd t\u00f4i t\u01b0 v\u1ea5n, t\u00f4i c\u00f3 ch\u1ec9 cho ch\u1ecb \u0111\u1ecdc m\u1ed9t v\u00e0i ch\u01b0\u01a1ng quan tr\u1ecdng, c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 soi s\u00e1ng cho nh\u1eefng b\u1ebf t\u1eafc m\u00e0 ch\u1ecb \u0111ang g\u1eb7p ph\u1ea3i, \u0111\u1eb7c bi\u1ec7t l\u00e0 “Thuy\u1ebft ph\u00e2n chia nhi\u1ec7m v\u1ee5”.<\/p>\n

Trong ph\u1ea7n \u0111\u1ed1i tho\u1ea1i v\u1ec1 “s\u1ee3i t\u01a1 h\u1ed3ng v\u00e0 d\u00e2y x\u00edch ch\u1eafc”, t\u00e1c gi\u1ea3 c\u1ee7a cu\u1ed1n s\u00e1ch cho r\u1eb1ng: “Cho d\u00f9 v\u1ee3 ch\u1ed3ng \u0111\u00e3 s\u1ed1ng v\u1edbi nhau nhi\u1ec1u n\u0103m, n\u1ebfu th\u1ea5y kh\u00f3 duy tr\u00ec m\u1ed1i quan h\u1ec7 \u0111\u00f3, th\u00ec v\u1eabn c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 chia tay. Nh\u01b0ng, quan h\u1ec7 cha m\u1eb9 v\u00e0 con c\u00e1i, v\u1ec1 nguy\u00ean t\u1eafc kh\u00f4ng th\u1ec3 l\u00e0m th\u1ebf \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c.<\/p>\n

N\u1ebfu t\u00ecnh y\u00eau l\u00e0 m\u1ed1i quan h\u1ec7 \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c g\u1eafn k\u1ebft b\u1eb1ng s\u1ee3i t\u01a1 h\u1ed3ng, th\u00ec quan h\u1ec7 gi\u1eefa cha m\u1eb9 v\u00e0 con c\u00e1i \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c xi\u1ec1ng b\u1eb1ng d\u00e2y x\u00edch ch\u1eafc. Trong khi trong tay m\u00ecnh ch\u1ec9 c\u00f3 m\u1ed9t c\u00e2y k\u00e9o nh\u1ecf. C\u00e1i kh\u00f3 c\u1ee7a m\u1ed1i quan h\u1ec7 gi\u1eefa cha m\u1eb9 v\u00e0 con c\u00e1i l\u00e0 \u1edf \u0111\u00f3”.<\/p>\n

V\u1eady ta ph\u1ea3i \u0111\u1ed1i m\u1eb7t v\u1edbi s\u1ef1 nh\u1ea1y c\u1ea3m v\u00e0 ph\u1ee9c c\u1ea3m c\u1ee7a m\u1ed1i quan h\u1ec7 n\u00e0y nh\u01b0 th\u1ebf n\u00e0o?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Nh\u00e0 tri\u1ebft h\u1ecdc cho r\u1eb1ng: Nh\u1eefng cha m\u1eb9 n\u00e0o bu\u1ed3n phi\u1ec1n v\u1ec1 m\u1ed1i quan h\u1ec7 v\u1edbi con, th\u01b0\u1eddng c\u00f3 khuynh h\u01b0\u1edbng cho r\u1eb1ng \u201ccon c\u00e1i ch\u00ednh l\u00e0 cu\u1ed9c \u0111\u1eddi c\u1ee7a m\u00ecnh\u201d.<\/p>\n

Ngh\u0129a l\u00e0 cho r\u1eb1ng c\u1ea3 nh\u1eefng nhi\u1ec7m v\u1ee5 c\u1ee7a con c\u00e1i c\u0169ng l\u00e0 nhi\u1ec7m v\u1ee5 c\u1ee7a m\u00ecnh. L\u00fac n\u00e0o c\u0169ng ch\u1ec9 ngh\u0129 \u0111\u1ebfn con, t\u1edbi khi nh\u1eadn ra th\u00ec \u0111\u00e3 \u0111\u00e1nh m\u1ea5t b\u1ea3n th\u00e2n.<\/p>\n

\u00d4ng n\u00f3i ti\u1ebfp: “Nh\u01b0ng, cho d\u00f9 c\u00f3 c\u1ed1 g\u1eafng g\u00e1nh v\u00e1c nh\u1eefng nhi\u1ec7m v\u1ee5 c\u1ee7a con \u0111\u1ebfn \u0111\u00e2u ch\u0103ng n\u1eefa th\u00ec con v\u1eabn l\u00e0 m\u1ed9t c\u00e1 nh\u00e2n \u0111\u1ed9c l\u1eadp, kh\u00f4ng th\u1ec3 ho\u00e0n to\u00e0n tr\u1edf th\u00e0nh ng\u01b0\u1eddi nh\u01b0 cha m\u1eb9 mong \u0111\u1ee3i. Vi\u1ec7c h\u1ecdc h\u00e0nh, c\u00f4ng vi\u1ec7c l\u00e0m \u0103n, ho\u1eb7c h\u00e0nh \u0111\u1ed9ng l\u1eddi n\u00f3i nh\u1ecf nh\u1eb7t th\u01b0\u1eddng ng\u00e0y c\u0169ng kh\u00f4ng ho\u00e0n to\u00e0n nh\u01b0 cha m\u1eb9 mong \u0111\u1ee3i.<\/p>\n

\u0110\u01b0\u01a1ng nhi\u00ean, cha m\u1eb9 s\u1ebd lo l\u1eafng, c\u0169ng mu\u1ed1n can thi\u1ec7p. Nh\u01b0ng, l\u00fac n\u00e3y t\u00f4i \u0111\u00e3 n\u00f3i, \u201cng\u01b0\u1eddi kh\u00e1c kh\u00f4ng s\u1ed1ng \u0111\u1ec3 \u0111\u00e1p \u1ee9ng mong \u0111\u1ee3i c\u1ee7a c\u1eadu\u201d. Cho d\u00f9 l\u00e0 con m\u00ecnh c\u0169ng kh\u00f4ng s\u1ed1ng \u0111\u1ec3 \u0111\u00e1p \u1ee9ng mong \u0111\u1ee3i c\u1ee7a m\u00ecnh”.<\/p>\n

\u0110o\u1ea1n d\u01b0\u1edbi \u0111\u00e2y, v\u1edbi t\u00f4i, th\u1ef1c s\u1ef1 khai s\u00e1ng:<\/p>\n

“Can thi\u1ec7p v\u00e0o nhi\u1ec7m v\u1ee5 c\u1ee7a ng\u01b0\u1eddi kh\u00e1c, coi nhi\u1ec7m v\u1ee5 c\u1ee7a ng\u01b0\u1eddi kh\u00e1c l\u00e0 c\u1ee7a m\u00ecnh s\u1ebd khi\u1ebfn cu\u1ed9c \u0111\u1eddi m\u00ecnh tr\u1edf n\u00ean kh\u1ed5 s\u1edf h\u01a1n. Nh\u1eefng phi\u1ec1n mu\u1ed9n v\u1ec1 cu\u1ed9c \u0111\u1eddi \u0111\u1ec1u b\u1eaft ngu\u1ed3n t\u1eeb m\u1ed1i quan h\u1ec7 gi\u1eefa ng\u01b0\u1eddi v\u1edbi ng\u01b0\u1eddi, n\u00ean tr\u01b0\u1edbc h\u1ebft h\u00e3y bi\u1ebft v\u1ea1ch ra ranh gi\u1edbi r\u1eb1ng, \u201ct\u1eeb \u0111\u00e2y tr\u1edf \u0111i kh\u00f4ng ph\u1ea3i l\u00e0 nhi\u1ec7m v\u1ee5 c\u1ee7a m\u00ecnh\u201d, sau \u0111\u00f3 b\u1ecf qua nh\u1eefng nhi\u1ec7m v\u1ee5 c\u1ee7a ng\u01b0\u1eddi kh\u00e1c.<\/p>\n

\u0110\u00f3 l\u00e0 b\u01b0\u1edbc \u0111\u1ea7u ti\u00ean \u0111\u1ec3 gi\u1ea3m g\u00e1nh n\u1eb7ng c\u1ee7a cu\u1ed9c \u0111\u1eddi, khi\u1ebfn cu\u1ed9c \u0111\u1eddi tr\u1edf n\u00ean \u0111\u01a1n gi\u1ea3n h\u01a1n.<\/p>\n

M\u1ed1i quan h\u1ec7 gi\u1eefa cha m\u1eb9 v\u00e0 con c\u00e1i c\u0169ng c\u1ea7n kho\u1ea3ng c\u00e1ch<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u0110\u1ec3 x\u00e2y d\u1ef1ng \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c m\u1ed1i quan h\u1ec7 t\u1ed1t v\u1edbi ng\u01b0\u1eddi kh\u00e1c, c\u1ea7n c\u00f3 m\u1ed9t kho\u1ea3ng c\u00e1ch nh\u1ea5t \u0111\u1ecbnh. N\u1ebfu kho\u1ea3ng c\u00e1ch qu\u00e1 g\u1ea7n, d\u00ednh s\u00e1t v\u00e0o nhau th\u00ec th\u1eadm ch\u00ed kh\u00f4ng c\u00f2n \u0111\u1ed1i di\u1ec7n tr\u00f2 chuy\u1ec7n \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c v\u1edbi \u0111\u1ed1i ph\u01b0\u01a1ng.<\/p>\n

D\u00f9 v\u1eady, kho\u1ea3ng c\u00e1ch c\u0169ng kh\u00f4ng \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c qu\u00e1 xa. Cha m\u1eb9 c\u1ee9 m\u1eafng m\u1ecf con su\u1ed1t ng\u00e0y th\u00ec \u0111\u00f4i b\u00ean s\u1ebd tr\u1edf n\u00ean xa c\u00e1ch v\u1ec1 m\u1eb7t t\u00e2m h\u1ed3n. Nh\u01b0 v\u1eady, tr\u1ebb kh\u00f4ng c\u00f2n t\u00e2m s\u1ef1 v\u1edbi cha m\u1eb9, cha m\u1eb9 c\u0169ng kh\u00f4ng c\u00f2n c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 gi\u00fap \u0111\u1ee1 tr\u1ebb khi c\u1ea7n thi\u1ebft n\u1eefa.<\/p>\n

Quan tr\u1ecdng l\u00e0 ph\u1ea3i gi\u1eef \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c kho\u1ea3ng c\u00e1ch ph\u00f9 h\u1ee3p, v\u01b0\u01a1n tay ra l\u00e0 ch\u1ea1m t\u1edbi nh\u01b0ng nh\u1ea5t \u0111\u1ecbnh kh\u00f4ng \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c x\u00e2m ph\u1ea1m v\u00e0o l\u00e3nh \u0111ia c\u1ee7a \u0111\u1ed1i ph\u01b0\u01a1ng.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

C\u0169ng c\u00f3 tr\u01b0\u1eddng h\u1ee3p m\u00e0 can thi\u1ec7p v\u00e0o nhi\u1ec7m v\u1ee5 c\u1ee7a ng\u01b0\u1eddi kh\u00e1c l\u1ea1i d\u1ec5 d\u00e0ng h\u01a1n ph\u00e2n chia nhi\u1ec7m v\u1ee5. Ch\u1eb3ng h\u1ea1n, khi d\u1ea1y tr\u1ebb, \u0111\u1ee9a tr\u1ebb m\u00e3i kh\u00f4ng bu\u1ed9c \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c d\u00e2y gi\u00e0y.<\/p>\n

N\u1ebfu x\u00e9t t\u1eeb g\u00f3c \u0111\u1ed9 c\u1ee7a ng\u01b0\u1eddi m\u1eb9 b\u1eadn r\u1ed9n th\u00ec ra tay bu\u1ed9c h\u1ed9 th\u00ec nhanh h\u01a1n l\u00e0 \u0111\u1ee3i con t\u1ef1 bu\u1ed9c. Nh\u01b0ng \u0111\u00f3 l\u00e0 h\u00e0nh vi can thi\u1ec7p, l\u1ea5y \u0111i nhi\u1ec7m v\u1ee5 c\u1ee7a con. K\u1ebft qu\u1ea3 c\u1ee7a s\u1ef1 can thi\u1ec7p nhi\u1ec1u l\u1ea7n l\u00e0 \u0111\u1ee9a tr\u1ebb s\u1ebd ch\u1eb3ng h\u1ecdc \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c g\u00ec, cu\u1ed1i c\u00f9ng s\u1ebd \u0111\u00e1nh m\u1ea5t can \u0111\u1ea3m \u0111\u1ed1i di\u1ec7n v\u1edbi c\u00e1c nhi\u1ec7m v\u1ee5 c\u1ee7a cu\u1ed9c \u0111\u1eddi.<\/p>\n

Adler n\u00f3i, nh\u1eefng \u0111\u1ee9a tr\u1ebb kh\u00f4ng \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c d\u1ea1y \u0111\u1ed1i di\u1ec7n v\u1edbi kh\u00f3 kh\u0103n nhi\u1ec1u kh\u1ea3 n\u0103ng s\u1ebd c\u1ed1 tr\u00e1nh n\u00e9 m\u1ecdi kh\u00f3 kh\u0103n.<\/p>\n

(…)<\/p>\n

Nhi\u1ec1u ng\u01b0\u1eddi cho r\u1eb1ng, ph\u00e2n chia nhi\u1ec7m v\u1ee5 gi\u1ed1ng nh\u01b0 gi\u1eabm \u0111\u1ea1p l\u00ean th\u00e0nh \u00fd c\u1ee7a \u0111\u1ed1i ph\u01b0\u01a1ng. \u0110\u00f3 l\u00e0 suy ngh\u0129 b\u1ecb b\u00f3 bu\u1ed9c b\u1edfi t\u01b0 t\u01b0\u1edfng \u201c\u0111\u1ec1n \u0111\u00e1p\u201d. N\u1ebfu ng\u01b0\u1eddi kh\u00e1c l\u00e0m g\u00ec \u0111\u00f3 cho m\u00ecnh th\u00ec m\u00ecnh ph\u1ea3i \u0111\u1ec1n \u0111\u00e1p, d\u00f9 \u0111\u00f3 l\u00e0 \u0111i\u1ec1u m\u00ecnh kh\u00f4ng mu\u1ed1n.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

\u0110\u00e2y kh\u00f4ng h\u1eb3n l\u00e0 \u0111\u00e1p l\u1ea1i th\u00e0nh \u00fd m\u00e0 ch\u1ec9 l\u00e0 \u0111ang b\u1ecb b\u00f3 bu\u1ed9c b\u1edfi t\u01b0 t\u01b0\u1edfng \u0111\u1ec1n \u0111\u00e1p.<\/p>\n

N\u1ebfu trong quan h\u1ec7 gi\u1eefa ng\u01b0\u1eddi v\u00e0 ng\u01b0\u1eddi m\u00e0 c\u00f3 \u201c\u0111\u1ec1n \u0111\u00e1p\u201d th\u00ec s\u1ebd n\u1ea3y sinh suy ngh\u0129: T\u00f4i \u0111\u00e3 mang l\u1ea1i cho c\u1eadu \u0111i\u1ec1u n\u00e0y th\u00ec c\u1eadu c\u0169ng ph\u1ea3i \u0111\u00e1p l\u1ea1i nh\u01b0 th\u1ebf n\u00e0y. T\u1ea5t nhi\u00ean \u0111\u00e2y l\u00e0 m\u1ed9t quan \u0111i\u1ec3m tr\u00e1i ng\u01b0\u1ee3c v\u1edbi ph\u00e2n chia nhi\u1ec7m v\u1ee5. Ch\u00fang ta kh\u00f4ng mong mu\u1ed1n \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c \u0111\u1ec1n \u0111\u00e1p, c\u0169ng kh\u00f4ng \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c \u0111\u1ec3 mong mu\u1ed1n c\u1ee7a m\u00ecnh b\u00f3 bu\u1ed9c ng\u01b0\u1eddi kh\u00e1c.<\/p>\n

Nh\u1eefng t\u01b0 t\u01b0\u1edfng c\u1ee7a nh\u00e0 t\u00e2m l\u00fd h\u1ecdc Adler kh\u00f4ng d\u1ec5 d\u00e0ng \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c ch\u1ea5p nh\u1eadn v\u00e0 c\u0169ng g\u00e2y ra nhi\u1ec1u tranh c\u00e3i v\u00ec c\u00e1i nh\u00ecn m\u1edbi m\u1ebb v\u00e0 th\u00e1ch th\u1ee9c c\u1ee7a \u00f4ng. Nh\u01b0ng t\u00f4i tin r\u1eb1ng, ai l\u0129nh h\u1ed9i \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c, s\u1ebd gi\u1ea3i ph\u00f3ng \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c r\u1ea5t nhi\u1ec1u n\u1ed7i kh\u1ed5 \u1edf \u0111\u1eddi, t\u1eeb m\u1ed1i quan h\u1ec7 phi\u1ec1n mu\u1ed9n gi\u1eefa ng\u01b0\u1eddi v\u1edbi ng\u01b0\u1eddi, hay “d\u00e1m b\u1ecb gh\u00e9t” \u0111\u1ec3 t\u1ef1 do v\u00e0 kh\u00f4ng ph\u1ea3i s\u1ed1ng cu\u1ed9c \u0111\u1eddi c\u1ee7a ng\u01b0\u1eddi kh\u00e1c.<\/p>\n

Adler c\u0169ng c\u00f3 m\u1ed9t quan \u0111i\u1ec3m n\u1eefa, m\u1edbi nghe qua th\u00ec t\u01b0\u1edfng “h\u01b0 v\u00f4” nh\u01b0ng th\u1ef1c ra \u0111\u1ea5y l\u00e0 m\u1ed9t s\u1ef1 gi\u1ea3i tho\u00e1t: “Cu\u1ed9c \u0111\u1eddi n\u00f3i chung kh\u00f4ng c\u00f3 \u00fd ngh\u0129a, tuy nhi\u00ean, \u00fd ngh\u0129a c\u1ee7a cu\u1ed9c \u0111\u1eddi l\u00e0 \u0111i\u1ec1u m\u00e0 b\u1ea3n th\u00e2n m\u1ed7i ng\u01b0\u1eddi t\u1ef1 mang l\u1ea1i cho m\u00ecnh”.<\/p>\n

H\u00f4m tr\u01b0\u1edbc tr\u1ea3 l\u1eddi tin nh\u1eafn c\u1ee7a ng\u01b0\u1eddi ph\u1ee5 n\u1eef, t\u00f4i ngh\u0129 c\u1ea7n ph\u1ea3i vi\u1ebft \u0111\u1ec3 chia s\u1ebb v\u00e0 m\u1edf r\u1ed9ng th\u00eam v\u1ec1 ch\u1ee7 \u0111\u1ec1 n\u00e0y, bi\u1ebft \u0111\u00e2u n\u00f3 h\u1eefu \u00edch cho nhi\u1ec1u ng\u01b0\u1eddi. V\u00e0 t\u1ea5t nhi\u00ean, cho c\u1ea3 ch\u00ednh t\u00f4i n\u1eefa.<\/p>\n

“H\u00e3y c\u1ee9 s\u1ed1ng t\u1ef1 do. Ai gh\u00e9t m\u00ecnh th\u00ec c\u1ee9 \u0111\u1ec3 h\u1ecd gh\u00e9t” – Adler n\u00f3i.<\/p>\n

LE HONG LAM\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Thi tho\u1ea3ng, t\u00f4i nh\u1eadn \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c nh\u1eefng l\u1eddi \u0111\u1ec1 ngh\u1ecb t\u01b0 v\u1ea5n ho\u1eb7c gi\u00fap \u0111\u1ee1 r\u1ea5t tr\u00e9o ngoe. L\u00e2u l\u00e2u m\u1edf h\u1ed9p tin nh\u1eafn ch\u1edd ra, th\u1ea5y m\u1ed9t l\u00f4 m\u1ed9t l\u1ed1c nh\u1eefng tin nh\u1eafn n\u1eb1m trong \u0111\u00f3, kh\u00f4ng bi\u1ebft t\u1eeb bao gi\u1edd. C\u00f3 nh\u1eefng l\u1eddi m\u1eddi tham gia l\u00e0m gi\u00e1m kh\u1ea3o cu\u1ed9c n\u00e0y cu\u1ed9c kia, l\u00e0m […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":6045,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jnews-multi-image_gallery":[],"jnews_single_post":{"source_name":"","source_url":"","via_name":"","via_url":"","override_template":"0","override":[{"template":"1","single_blog_custom":"","parallax":"1","fullscreen":"1","layout":"right-sidebar","sidebar":"default-sidebar","second_sidebar":"default-sidebar","sticky_sidebar":"1","share_position":"top","share_float_style":"share-monocrhome","show_share_counter":"1","show_view_counter":"1","show_featured":"1","show_post_meta":"1","show_post_author":"1","show_post_author_image":"1","show_post_date":"1","post_date_format":"default","post_date_format_custom":"Y\/m\/d","show_post_category":"1","show_post_reading_time":"0","post_reading_time_wpm":"300","show_zoom_button":"0","zoom_button_out_step":"2","zoom_button_in_step":"3","show_post_tag":"1","show_prev_next_post":"1","show_popup_post":"1","number_popup_post":"1","show_author_box":"0","show_post_related":"0","show_inline_post_related":"0"}],"override_image_size":"0","image_override":[{"single_post_thumbnail_size":"crop-500","single_post_gallery_size":"crop-500"}],"trending_post":"0","trending_post_position":"meta","trending_post_label":"Trending","sponsored_post":"0","sponsored_post_label":"Sponsored by","sponsored_post_name":"","sponsored_post_url":"","sponsored_post_logo_enable":"0","sponsored_post_logo":"","sponsored_post_desc":""},"jnews_primary_category":{"id":""},"jnews_override_counter":{"override_view_counter":"0","view_counter_number":"0","override_share_counter":"0","share_counter_number":"0","override_like_counter":"0","like_counter_number":"0","override_dislike_counter":"0","dislike_counter_number":"0"},"footnotes":""},"categories":[8,18,16,17,5],"tags":[2547,2546,2548],"class_list":["post-6043","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-song","category-su-kien-van-de","category-tieu-diem","category-tin-noi-bat","category-van-hoa-am-thuc","tag-khung-hoang-tam-ly-giua-me-va-con","tag-nhan-dien-khung-hoang-tam-ly","tag-phien-muon-do-quan-he-nguoi-voi-nguoi"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/douongvietnam.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6043","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/douongvietnam.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/douongvietnam.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/douongvietnam.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/douongvietnam.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=6043"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/douongvietnam.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6043\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6047,"href":"https:\/\/douongvietnam.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6043\/revisions\/6047"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/douongvietnam.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/6045"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/douongvietnam.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=6043"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/douongvietnam.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=6043"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/douongvietnam.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=6043"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}